Filling in the Blanks
by Andra Marie Mueller
Summary: A shuttlecraft accident leaves Janeway with partial amnesia. Sequel to Homecoming.


**"Filling In The Blanks"  
by Andra Marie Mueller**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: This is a sequel to "Homecoming."

Inside _Voyager_'s Sickbay, Chakotay sat beside Janeway's biobed, keeping a silent vigil at his wife's side. Janeway had been critically injured in a shuttlecraft accident the previous day, and although she would survive, the commodore had suffered a brief period of hypoxia. Known in laymen's terms as a lack of oxygen to the brain, hypoxia could result in anything from loss of motor skills to complete brain death, and only Janeway's actions upon regaining consciousness would determine what kind of damage, if any, had been done to her brain.

The swoosh of opening doors signaled the arrival of another visitor, and Chakotay glanced over his shoulder to see B'Elanna Torres approaching.

"Chakotay," she greeted. "How's Commodore Janeway?"

"The same," Chakotay answered. "Right now I don't know if that's good or bad."

"How are you?" B'Elanna asked.

"I've been better," Chakotay allowed.

"Tom's in the hallway with the Three Musketeers," B'Elanna told him. "They're demanding to see you."

Chakotay managed a faint smile at the mention of he and Janeway's three children: four-year-old Kaya, two-year-old Matthew and one-year-old Danelle.

"Do they know about Kathryn?" Chakotay questioned.

"No. Everyone felt it would be best if you told them."

Chakotay nodded in silent acknowledgement. "I don't think they should see her like this," he said. "I'll go outside and talk with them."

"I'll stay with the commodore."

Chakotay cast a final glance at Janeway before relinquishing his vigil to B'Elanna and exiting the room. Tom stood a few feet down the corridor, with a protective hand on Kaya's shoulder, who in turn was clutching her brother and sister, and the commander crossed over to join them.

"Hello, Tom."

"Chakotay," Tom returned. "How are you holding up?"

"About as well as can be expected," Chakotay responded, then knelt down to address Kaya. "Hello, Sunshine. Are you, Dani and Matthew behaving yourself for Uncle Tom?"

"Where's Mommy?" Kaya demanded.

"Mommy's been in an accident, Kaya, and she has to stay in Sickbay for a few days so the Doctor can make her better," Chakotay explained. "Once he does, she can come home."

"I want her to come home now," Kaya pleaded.

"Want Mommy now," Matthew echoed.

Chakotay allowed himself a small sigh and wrapped his arms around his children.

"So do I, guys, so do I."

The following morning, _Voyager_ docked at Earth Station McKinley, where it would undergo a day long maintenance overhaul as the crew enjoyed some much needed Shore Leave. In Sickbay, the Doctor had wandered out of his office to check on Janeway, only to find her awake and scanning the room.

"Good morning, Commodore," he greeted cheerfully. "I'm glad to see you're finally awake."

"What happened?" Janeway asked, momentarily overlooking the Doctor's form of address.

"You were in a shuttlecraft accident," the Doctor told her, and gave her a summary of her injuries. "Quite frankly, Commodore, you're lucky to be alive."

Janeway shifted her head to scan the bay, and frowned at her surroundings before returning her attention to the Doctor. "Who are you?" she inquired. "And why do you keep addressing me as Commodore?"

"I am the Holographic Chief Medical Officer," the Doctor explained, "and I address you as Commodore because that is your rank."

"You're a hologram?" Janeway prompted incredulously. "Where's Doctor Fitzgerald?"

Instead of answering Janeway's question, the Doctor responded with one of his own. "Tell me something, Commodore, what is the last thing you remember?"

Clearly confused, Janeway considered the question for a moment before responding. "We were in the Badlands searching for a Maquis ship when we encountered some kind of shock wave. It felt like the ship had crashed into a brick wall. The impact threw the crew around like rag dolls, and I remember hitting my head on the control panel. The next thing I know I'm waking up here."

"Interesting..." the Doctor remarked, and ran his tricorder over Janeway's skull. "There does appear to be some slight bruising to the brain tissue just above your cerebral cortex, which combined with the hypoxia would sufficiently explain your memory loss."

"Memory loss?" Janeway echoed. "What are you talking about?"

"You have amnesia, Commodore," the Doctor declared. "The incident you refer to took place over a decade ago."

"A decade?" Janeway repeated incredulously. "Are you telling me that I've somehow managed to lose ten years worth of memories?"

"That is exactly what I'm telling you," the Doctor declared. "The amnesia is most likely an after-effect of the oxygen deprivation your brain suffered in the accident."

"Is it permanent?"

"I won't lie to you, Commodore," the Doctor said. "There is a chance that your memory loss is permanent. Right now it's just too soon to tell."

"Assuming the amnesia is only temporary, how long will it be before my memory comes back?" Janeway asked.

"Unfortunately there's no way to determine that. It may come back in bits and pieces, or all at once. At this point in time our only option is to watch and wait."

Janeway allowed herself a moment to absorb what the Doctor had told her before speaking again. "Can you at least tell me what the status is of my ship and crew?" she requested. "I would imagine Cavit has his own command by now, leaving me with an XO I don't remember."

_Not to mention a husband and three children_, the Doctor thought idly. Aloud he said, "I'll inform Commander Chakotay that you're awake and fill him in on your condition, then he can fill you in on the last ten years."

"Really, Doctor, I would rather..."

Janeway stopped in mid-sentence, as the name Chakotay suddenly registered, and she shot the Doctor a surprised glance.

"Chakotay was the captain of the Maquis ship that _Voyager_ was searching for in the Badlands," she recalled. "What the hell is he doing in charge of my ship?"

"Why don't I have him come down here and let him explain it?"

"That sounds like a very good idea," Janeway answered tightly.

Excusing himself, the Doctor wandered into his office, feeling Janeway's angry gaze on his back as he did so. Deliberately keeping his voice low to avoid being overheard, the Doctor tapped his combadge.

"Sickbay to Commander Chakotay."

"Yes, Doctor?"

"Commander, there's been a change in Commodore Janeway's condition," the Doctor told him. "Are we on a secured channel?"

"Yes; I'm in my office."

"Commodore Janeway came out of her coma a short while ago," the Doctor revealed, "and the preliminary tests indicate she has no permanent brain damage."

"Why do I sense a 'but' coming?" Chakotay prompted.

"But," the Doctor echoed obediently, "she does have partial amnesia. The accident has erased part of her memory."

"How much is missing?"

"From what I can determine, close to eleven years."

Inside his office, Chakotay released a frustrated sigh. "Any idea how long its going to last?"

"It's hard to say. Commodore Janeway's amnesia may just be a temporary aftereffect to the hypoxia, or it may be permanent. I'll know more in a few days."

"Assuming the amnesia is only temporary, how long will it be before her memory comes back?"

"There's no way to determine that. It may come back in bits and pieces, or all at once. However, it will be better for the commodore if she's allowed to regain her memory at her own pace. Pressuring her to remember before she's ready will only do more harm than good."

"Understood. Is she up to receiving visitors?"

"Of course, but I have to warn you that she's not exactly thrilled with the idea that you're in charge. She remembers you as being Maquis."

"I appreciate the warning, Doc. I'll be right there."

Chakotay arrived in Sickbay, and found a visibly irate Janeway sitting upright on the biobed while the Doctor conducted his scans. Flashing her a warm smile, Chakotay crossed over to stand in front her.

"Good morning," he greeted. "How are you feeling?"

"Spare me the small talk, Commander, and just explain why you're in a uniform instead of the brig," Janeway retorted.

_Just like old times,_ Chakotay thought wryly. To Janeway he said, "In a nutshell, the Federation Council exonerated the remaining Maquis five years ago and restored the commissions of those who were once Starfleet officers."

"Really. I can't imagine what could have prompted the powers that be to miss the chance to hang the Maquis out to dry," Janeway remarked.

"They had more important things to deal with," Chakotay evaded, deciding that she was not up to hearing about the details of the Dominion War just yet.

"And I suppose I just have to take your word for that?"

"You think I'm lying?"

"Let's just say that I find it a little too convenient that you've been running my ship while I've been unconscious in Sickbay," Janeway allowed. "Your ... dissatisfaction... with Starfleet is well known, Commander. Exoneration or no, I can't imagine what would have prompted you to return to the fold."

_You did_. The thought flashed through Chakotay's mind but remained unspoken. Instead he replied, "My reasons for returning were just as valid as my reasons for leaving. If it will make you feel better, however, once the Doctor releases you, we can transport down to Starfleet Headquarters and you can verify what I've told you through the Federation Archives."

"That's an excellent suggestion."

"Commodore, I'd like to run a few more tests to make certain there aren't any more side effects from the hypoxia other than the amnesia," the Doctor interjected. "If everything checks out, I'll release you this afternoon."

"Fine, Doctor. Thank you."

The Doctor turned to Chakotay. "Commander, may I speak with you for a moment?"

"Sure," Chakotay said, and glanced at Janeway. "I'll be back to see you this afternoon."

"For your sake, Commander, I hope you've taken good care of my ship," Janeway cautioned.

Chakotay merely smiled in response, then followed the Doctor into his office.

"What can I do for you, Doc?"

"Given the commodore's rather strong reaction to learning you are her First Officer, I think it might be best if you wait a few days before revealing you're also her husband," the Doctor suggested. "I don't want to risk further mental stress by presenting her with information she's not emotionally ready to accept."

"Isn't that a bit unrealistic to ask?" Chakotay countered. "Aside from the fact that it would be virtually impossible to have everyone else on board keep it a secret as well, how do you expect me to explain our children? Matthew is no problem, but Kaya is Kathryn's mirror image, and Danelle looks enough like her to make it obvious she's her daughter, too."

"I understand your trepidation, Commander, and I certainly don't want to cause your children further distress by keeping them away from their mother any longer than is necessary. But Commodore Janeway's brain has suffered a shock strong enough to have eliminated ten years worth of her memory, and if she isn't allowed to recover from it at her own pace, it may cause further damage."

Chakotay released a heavy sigh and ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "Fine," he relented. "I'll issue an instruction to the crew that they are to avoid revealing any information to Kathryn other than ship's business until further notice. As for the children, I'll do what I can to keep them out of her way until her memory starts coming back. But if there's no significant change within the next couple of days, I am going to tell her the whole truth."

"Fair enough, Commander."

With the Doctor finishing his tests on Janeway and Tuvok manning the Bridge, Chakotay decided to grab a quick lunch in the Mess Hall. He was halfway through his meal when B'Elanna approached his table.

"Mind if I join you?"

"Have a seat."

B'Elanna settled herself into the chair on the opposite side of the table. "So, what's this I hear about Commodore Janeway having amnesia?" she prompted.

Chakotay shook his head. "Good news travels fast," he muttered.

"Then it's true?" B'Elanna pressed.

"Yes, it's true. The Doctor thinks that it's due to the hypoxia."

"Did he say how long it's going to last?"

Chakotay shrugged. "He doesn't know. He says her memory could come back in a few days, or not at all."

"That's a useful diagnosis," B'Elanna grumbled. "How are the kids taking it?"

"I sent them to stay with their grandmother for a few days," Chakotay revealed. "I don't want to risk Kathryn running into them until she regains her memory. Besides, with Kathryn at less than 100 capacity, I can't keep an eye on our children and _Voyager_."

"Chakotay, you've got a ship full of people who adore your kids," B'Elanna pointed out. "Any one of us would have been happy to keep an eye on them, and right now I think you need them as much as they need you."

"I appreciate the sentiment, B'Elanna, but how would I explain it to them if they encountered their mother and Kathryn didn't acknowledge them?"

"I see your point," B'Elanna allowed. "How are you doing? This can't be easy for you, dealing with a wife who doesn't remember you and thinks you're her adversary."

"This is about Kathryn, not me."

"Spare me the martyr act, Chakotay," B'Elanna chided. "I knew how you felt about the commodore even before you did, and I know this has to be eating you up. What are you going to do if her memory doesn't come back?"

"I'll cross that bridge if and when I come to it," Chakotay replied, obviously unwilling to consider that possibility. "Right now I have a ship to run. I'll see you later."

Getting to his feet, the XO exited the Mess Hall.

The Doctor completed his tests on Janeway. "You are now officially released from Sickbay," he pronounced.

"Good." Janeway jumped off the biobed and reached for her uniform.

She had just finished dressing when the doors swooshed open to admit Chakotay. Noticing her attire, he flashed her a knowing smile.

"I see you're ready to get back to business," he remarked. "The Doctor finished his tests I presume?"

"Yes, and aside from the amnesia, I'm in perfect health," Janeway said.

"Be that as it may, Commodore, you still need to take things slow for the next few days," the Doctor reminded her. "I want you off duty for at least twenty-four hours, then light duties only for the next couple of days. And if you have any headaches or dizzy spells, I want you back here immediately."

"I'll keep an eye on her, Doc," Chakotay promised, earning him a curious look from Janeway.

_He's certainly agreeable to being my babysitter_, she observed silently

"Just remember what we discussed, Commander," the Doctor requested.

Bidding farewell to Janeway, the Doctor retreated into his office, and once he was gone Janeway glanced questioningly at Chakotay.

"What was that all about?" she asked.

"He was just cautioning me not to pressure you into regaining your memory," Chakotay evaded. "He wants to make certain the memories are allowed to return on their own."

Just then, Chakotay's combadge beeped, and Tom's voice filtered out. "Bridge to Commander Chakotay."

"Chakotay here."

"Commander, we're being hailed by the station," Tom told him. "Commander Barrett is requesting permission to beam over the maintenance team."

"Fine. Once they're on board, have them report to Lieutenant Carey in Engineering. He'll be supervising their work."

On the Bridge, Tom frowned to himself, knowing it should have been B'Elanna's job as Chief Engineer to oversee the team. "Commander?" he prompted questioningly.

"Mister Carey volunteered to oversee the upgrades," Chakotay clarified. "He said something about you and B'Elanna having an anniversary to celebrate?"

"Anniversary..." Tom mumbled, then blanched. "Oh, damn, I forgot!"

"I suggest you practice your groveling skills, Lieutenant," Chakotay replied dryly. "Either that, or come up with an incredibly romantic way to celebrate in the next twenty minutes."

"I'm dead..." Tom moaned.

Chakotay smiled at his young friend's distress. "Since we're not going anywhere for a while, Tom, why don't you head for your quarters and see what you can come up with?" he suggested. "I'll think of a way to stall B'Elanna and buy you some time."

"Thanks, Chakotay. I owe you big."

"You owe me huge, Paris. Now get moving."

As if to speak of the devil, Janeway's combadge beeped and B'Elanna's voice said, "Torres to Commodore Janeway."

"Go ahead, Lieutenant."

"Commodore, the maintenance team is here, and they're requesting permission to run a Level Five diagnostic," B'Elanna replied. "It will require that all non-essential power systems be shut down for at least twelve hours."

"Which means we'll have to put the ship on Gray Mode," Janeway surmised. "Will any of the systems be damaged if they stay on-line?"

"No, but it will take twice as long to run the diagnostic," B'Elanna answered.

Janeway glanced at Chakotay. "Are any of the crew working on something that can't be put aside for half a day?" she inquired.

"No. Tuvok's going to stay on the ship to baby-sit the others, and we already made arrangements to leave a skeleton crew on board while everyone else takes Shore Leave."

Janeway nodded, then addressed B'Elanna. "Very well, Lieutenant. Put the ship on Gray Mode and initiate the shut-down."

"Aye, Commodore. Paris out."

Her exchange with B'Elanna complete, Janeway again glanced at Chakotay. "Well, Commander, I believe you and I have a date at Starfleet Headquarters."

"After you."

**STARFLEET HEADQUARTERS  
**

Some time later, Janeway and Chakotay were in the central library at Starfleet Headquarters. She had just finished reading the official transcripts of both Maquis' trials, the exile and exoneration hearings.

"Satisfied this isn't an elaborate Maquis hoax I've construed to commandeer your ship?" Chakotay prompted lightly.

Janeway gave him a small smile. "I was a little harsh on you earlier, and I'm sorry. It was just a shock to find out that a former enemy of the Federation is now my second-in-command."

_Among other things_, Chakotay added silently. To Janeway he said, "No harm done. You and I have never been shy about having a good argument."

Janeway's smile widened. "Given that you're an ex-Maquis commander taking orders from a Starfleet CO, I imagine we've had our fair share," she said.

"I've never regretted my decision to follow you, Kath... Commodore."

Chakotay corrected himself in mid-sentence, realizing that under the circumstances she would consider his use of her given name inappropriate. His slip was not lost on Janeway, however, and she shot him a curious glance.

_He was about to address me as Kathryn_, she mused. _Why would I be on a first name basis with my XO? _

The confusion evident in Janeway's refined features, Chakotay braced himself for the inevitable question, but the commodore left it unspoken, and instead changed the subject. "Well, as long as I'm on my time, I think I'll pay a visit to Mark," she said. "I'm anxious to see him and have him start filling me in some of the blanks I'm missing."

Janeway's casual mention of her former fiancé caused Chakotay to belatedly realize another reason why he should not have agreed to keep the truth from her.

_With her memory missing, naturally she'd assume that she's married to Mark_, he thought anxiously. _How do I tell her the truth without sending her into a rage?_

"You still with me, Commander?" Janeway prompted.

Shaking himself out of his reverie, Chakotay sent her an apologetic smile. "Sorry. I was somewhere else for a minute."

Janeway smiled. "Some place interesting, I hope," she replied. "Enjoy your play time, Commander. I'll see you back on the ship tomorrow morning."

Not knowing what to say to make her stay, Chakotay merely nodded in silent agreement, and watched Janeway exit the library. Once she was gone, Chakotay quickly crossed the room to access the computer, then opened a channel to Starfleet Academy and requested a transfer to Professor Mark Johnson in the faculty department. It took almost sixty seconds to make the connection, then a very puzzled Mark appeared on the viewscreen.

"Commander Chakotay... this is a surprise."

"I apologize for the unexpected call, but I have an emergency of sorts that I need your help with."

"What can I do for you?"

"I don't have time to completely explain, so I'm afraid you'll have to accept a condensed explanation," Chakotay told him. "Kathryn was in a shuttlecraft accident two days ago that's left with her with partial amnesia. The last thing she remembers is encountering the energy wave that transported _Voyager_ to the Delta Quadrant eleven years ago."

"What does that have to do with me?" Mark queried.

"She thinks she's married to you," Chakotay answered, "and she's on her way to see you so you can fill her in on the details of the past ten and a half years of her life."

"Oh, shit."

"My sentiments exactly."

"Why don't you just tell her the truth?"

"The Doctor asked me to wait a few days to allow Kathryn time to adjust to what's happened, and see if the memories will begin to return on their own."

Mark gave him an amused smile. "You took advice from a hologram?" he prompted.

"It's no worse than having to take orders from Starfleet Command," Chakotay countered dryly.

"I suppose not," Mark allowed. "How did you explain your children?"

"I sent them to stay with Gretchen for a few days," Chakotay answered. "I didn't want to risk Kathryn running into them until she remembers them."

"I'm not quite sure what you want me to do, Commander. I obviously can't allow her to keep believing she and I are married, yet it's not my place to tell her you are."

"I'll deal with that. I just need you to make sure you're unavailable when Kathryn shows up."

"In other words you want me to hide from her."

"Call it whatever you want, but just make sure you're someplace else when she gets there."

Mark sighed. "All right. I'll do what I can to avoid her."

"Thank you."

**STARFLEET ACADEMY  
**

Unaware of Chakotay's panicked call to Mark, Janeway was leisurely strolling the corridors of the Academy en route to Mark's office. Reaching his door, she was just about to head inside when an attractive young woman walked out of the office.

"May I help you?" she inquired.

"Yes; I'm looking for Mark Johnson."

"Doctor Johnson left a few minutes ago for a staff meeting," the younger woman revealed. "He's going to be unavailable for at least a couple of hours."

_Mark is certainly taking my brush with death in stride_, Janeway mused_. I haven't seen or heard from him once since I came to._

Shaking off her wayward thoughts, Janeway addressed the woman. "When he returns, would you please tell him that his wife stopped by to see him, and ask him to contact me at my mother's house."

Janeway's request earned her a confused frown from the other woman, who unbeknownst to Janeway was a colleague of Mark's real wife, Sheridan. "I'll give him the message, Commodore," she said at last.

Flashing the younger woman a grateful smile, Janeway bid her farewell and started back down the hallway. The younger woman watched her go, then retreated back inside of Mark's office. Seated behind his desk, Mark glanced up expectantly.

"Is she gone?" Mark prompted.

"Yes. Why did she refer to herself as your wife?"

"Christy, that is a long story," Mark replied.

**U.S.S._VOYAGER_ **

Chakotay decided to return to the ship after the call to Mark to ponder what to do about the situation with Kathryn. He had to give her time to recover, but if he was around her there was every probability he would let something slip. So he decided to use the time to catch up on some of the work that he had put off while he'd been at Kathryn's bedside.

With Tom and B'Elanna ensconced in their quarters celebrating their anniversary, Harry had volunteered to baby sit Cassie. But with the ship in Gray Mode, and most of the crew on Shore Leave, the ship was virtually deserted, leaving Harry with very few options in terms of entertainment for her. Thankfully, however, she seemed more intent on sleeping than playing, so Harry had taken her to his quarters, then sequestered her in his bedroom before retreating to his living room couch to catch up on his reading.

Less than twenty minutes later, his boredom growing by the minute, Harry decided to take advantage of Cassie's nap to take a quick trip to Engineering. Initiating a privacy lock on his cabin to ensure Cassie would not be disturbed, Harry headed out of his quarters. As he approached the doors to Engineering, however, he could hear a heated argument coming from within, but the voices did not belong to anyone from _Voyager_'s crew. Cautiously approaching the entryway, Harry stole a quick glance inside, and felt his insides turn to ice.

"Oh, no..."

Carey and Vorik lay unconscious on the floor by the warp core, and three of the six individuals who were supposed to be the maintenance team were attempting to access the computer. Outnumbered and outgunned, Harry wisely beat a hasty retreat back down the hallway, then tapped his combadge.

"Kim to Commander Chakotay."

"Yes, Harry?"

"Commander, we've got a problem. I was just in Engineering and the maintenance team has taken out Lieutenant Carey and Vorik, and they're trying to access the computers. I only saw three of them, though, so the other three must be roaming the ship."

On the Bridge, Chakotay crossed over to Tactical as Tuvok ran a hand along his computer panel to verify Harry's report, and the Vulcan quickly initiated a computer lockout before addressing Chakotay. "I have initiated a computer lockout which will prevent them from accessing any information from the databanks," he said.

"Good. Harry, is Cassie Paris still with you?"

"She's asleep in my quarters," Harry confirmed.

"Then arm yourself and return to your quarters to keep watch over her," Chakotay responded. "Tuvok and I will handle the intruders. Chakotay out."

Chakotay returned his attention to Tuvok. "I want a Level Four forcefield around the shuttlebay and the Transporter Room," he instructed. "It's a safe assumption that our friends aren't going to stand around and wait to be captured, and I don't want them getting off the ship. Which members of the crew are still on board?"

Tuvok ran a quick scan. "Aside from ourselves, Lieutenant Kim, and the injured officers in Engineering, Lieutenants Tom Paris and B'Elanna Torres, Ensign Brooks, Lieutenant Commander McDonald and Ensign Gray are still on the ship."

"I'll contact the commodore and let her know what's going on," Chakotay instructed. "Tell Brooks to meet me in Engineering, then have McDonald and Gray start a deck by deck search for the other intruders. I want you to stay here and make certain the Bridge remains secured."

"Aye, Commander."

"Why is this taking so long, Goren?" the leader demanded.

"I don't know, Dumar," Goren responded. "The access code should have cleared by now."

"There is a chance they've discovered what we're up to and locked us out," the woman suggested. "They may have recognized the Cardassian signature in the encryption code"

"If that were true this place would be swarming with security by now," Goren chided. "You're being paranoid, Belen."

"Paranoid or not," Dumar interjected, "if we don't get the access codes opened within the next ten minutes our mission will be over."

"What's so important about the information we're after anyway?" Belen asked.

Dumar afforded her a brief glance. "The ships in the Federation fleet are the only ones that contain bioneural circuitry," he explained. "If we can determine how it works, we can implement the technology into our own ships and salvage what remains of our own technological resources. It would allow us to rebuild our fleet in half the time."

"Why don't we just take a sample of the bioneural matter and get out of here?" Belen suggested.

"And risk setting off an alarm for tampering with it?" Goren returned. "We'd never make it off the ship."

"We still may not if you don't speed this up," Dumar responded. "Belen, can you tell if Dorek and the others have reached the Bridge?"

Belen glanced down at the tricorder-like device she held in her hand. "They managed to reach Deck Five before the transporters went off-line. At the moment they seem to be wandering around the deck."

Just then Goren let out a Cardassian profanity, and shot Dumar a frustrated look. "It's not working," he said. "Either the access code was incorrect or they know what we're doing and have locked us out."

As if to confirm Goren's theory, the ship suddenly went from Gray Mode to Red Alert.

"I believe that's our cue to leave," Dumar replied. "Where's the nearest transporter?"

"The Transporter Room is seven decks above us," Goren told him. "If we try to get there using the turbolifts we'll be trapped."

"You're the expert on Federation starships," Belen snapped. "Don't they have a way to get around the ship other than the lifts?"

"Yes!" Goren exclaimed. "There are passageways which access each deck via a series of interconnecting ladders. I think they call them Jeffries Tubes."

"Where's the nearest one?" Dumar prompted.

"I think there's one on the second level of this room," Goren answered.

"Good. Once we reach the Transporter Room, we'll transport ourselves and Dorek's group off this ship."

The three made their way to the second level and found the entryway to the Jeffries Tube, then crawled inside.

Blissfully unaware of the events taking place elsewhere on the ship, Tom and B'Elanna were in the midst of reliving their wedding night when the Red Alert sounded.

"What the...?" Tom muttered.

B'Elanna released a growl of frustration. "The maintenance team must have somehow triggered the security system," she surmised.

Reaching across Tom to the nightstand beside their bed, B'Elanna grabbed her combadge and gave it a light tap. "Torres to Lieutenant Carey."

The page was met only with silence, and when the second one went unanswered as well, B'Elanna glanced at Tom. "If he's not answering, then this may be the real thing."

"We'd better get dressed and find out what's going on," Tom replied.

**BLOOMINGTON, INDIANA **

Gretchen Janeway was in her backyard watering her flower garden when Kathryn came around from the side of the house, and flashed her mother a warm smile of greeting.

"Hi, Mom."

"Katie... what a nice surprise," Gretchen declared. "I didn't know you were up and about already."

"Aside from the fact that I'm missing ten years of my life, the Doctor assures me I'm in perfect health," Kathryn replied. "I stopped by the Academy to see Mark but he's tied up in meetings, so I decided to come see you."

"Why would you need to see Mark?" Gretchen inquired curiously. "I wasn't aware the two of you spoke anymore."

Kathryn frowned in confusion. "Why would I not be speaking to my husband?"

"Husband…Katie, where did you get the idea that Mark's your husband?"

"Well, one of the things I do remember about ten years ago was that Mark and I were engaged, and given the fact that I'm now wearing a wedding ring, I thought it was a foregone conclusion that we were now married."

Understanding finally dawning on her, Gretchen replied, "He didn't tell you..."

"Who didn't tell me what?" Kathryn asked, her confusion turning to irritation.

Gretchen was saved from having to respond by the beep of Kathryn's combadge, and Chakotay's voice filtered out.

"Chakotay to Janeway."

"Go ahead, Commander."

"We've got trouble, Commodore," Chakotay stated. "The maintenance team isn't who they're supposed to be and they've commandeered Engineering. We've locked them out of the computer and have secured all possible escape routes."

"Are the transporters functional?" Kathryn asked.

"Negative. As soon as we learned of the intruders we took the ship off Gray Mode and went to Red Alert, but the transporters are still off-line. I've contacted Commodore Williams at Starfleet Security and she has a shuttle en route to bring you back. The pilot will beam you aboard as soon as you're in range."

"Acknowledged, Commander. I'll see you shortly."

Severing the transmission, Kathryn shot her mother a quick glance. "Once _Voyager_ is secure, you and I are going to finish our discussion," she declared.

Just then Kathryn's combadge beeped again. "This is Ensign Mason Ehlers of the shuttle _Copernicus_ to Commodore Janeway," a male voice announced. "We have a lock on you, Commodore. Are you ready for transport?"

"Yes, Ensign. Energize."

"Engaging transporter," Ehlers said.

Kathryn disappeared in a shimmer of light.

**U.S.S._VOYAGER_   
**

Wanting to make certain that Cassie was safe, Tom and B'Elanna's first stop was Harry's quarters. They arrived at the same time he returned from Engineering, and he flashed them a small smile.

"So much for your celebration, huh?"

"What's going on?" Tom queried.

Harry's response was prevented by the sound of unfamiliar voices from the other end of the hallway, and a moment later the other three members of the alleged maintenance team rounded the corner. Harry quickly gestured Tom and B'Elanna inside his cabin, then filled them in on the events of the past few minutes.

"What do these intruders want with _Voyager_?" B'Elanna asked.

Harry shrugged. "Who knows? They're probably just after our technology."

"Then why not just ask us to share?" B'Elanna pondered aloud.

"Given the trouble they went through to get on board and take out our people, most likely they're from a race that knows we'd say no," Tom surmised.

"Who else is still on board besides us?" B'Elanna inquired.

"Tuvok, Chakotay, and maybe half a dozen others," Harry answered. "The majority of the crew is down on Earth, including Commodore Janeway."

"I'm going to track down Tuvok or Chakotay and see if I can help," Tom announced. "You guys stay here with Cassie."

"You're not a security officer, Tom," B'Elanna pointed out. "How much help do you think you'll be?"

"More help than I'll be sitting here doing nothing," Tom returned, and vanished out the door.

**SHUTTLECRAFT COPERNICUS  
**

Inside the shuttle, Janeway was fretting about the status of her ship when she suddenly had a flashback to her last ride in a shuttle...

"Janeway to _Voyager_. The winds are picking up and it's interfering with my sensors."

"We're showing an increase in the storm's wind velocity to nearly 300 kilometers an hour," Chakotay responded. "Maybe you should turn around and test the engines another time."

"I'm almost finished, Commander," Janeway responded, running a hand along her control panel. "Just a couple more minutes and I'll call it a day."

No sooner had she said the words than the shuttle gave a violent lurch, and Janeway was thrown against the control panel, knocking her nearly unconscious. Hearing the collision through their comlink, Chakotay immediately got to his feet.

"Are you all right, Commodore?" he asked.

Silence.

"Commodore, are you there?" Chakotay demanded...

"Commodore?" Ehlers prompted cautiously.

The Ensign's voice snapped Janeway out of her reverie, and shaking off the wave of anxiety her recollection had produced, she flashed him an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry, Ensign. Did you say something?"

"Yes, ma'am. We're in transporter range of _Voyager_, and Commander Chakotay has given me the coordinates to beam you aboard."

"Then let's do it."

**U.S.S. _VOYAGER_   
**

Emerging from the Jeffries Tube on Deck Four, Belen, Dumar and Goren shot a quick glance in either direction to make sure no Starfleet personnel were nearby, then started for the Transporter Room.

"The transporter facilities are at the end of this hallway," Goren said.

"I find it suspicious that there is no one here to guard the room," Dumar replied.

"They probably think we're still in Engineering," Goren countered.

No sooner had he said the words than Goren noticed the forcefield protecting the entrance to the Transporter Room, and he let out a Cardassian curse.

"You were saying...?" Belen prompted dryly.

"If they've secured the Transporter Room than it's safe to assume they've also eliminated any access to the shuttlebay," Dumar surmised. "Are there any other ways off this ship?"

"No," Goren said simply.

"Brilliant move, Goren," Belen chided. "While you were busy planning your grand scheme to get us on board the ship, did it ever occur to you to have a way to get us off?"

Goren shot her an angry glare. "I've had enough of your sarcasm, Belen," he warned. "Do not provoke me into doing something I'll regret."

Belen snorted. "I'm not afraid of you," she taunted. "You're nothing but an overconfident hacker, and the only reason you're here is because your sister is sleeping with Gul Melev."

Goren's gaze turned to black ice, and before anyone could react, he withdrew a dagger from his boot and swiftly slashed Belen's throat. Belen barely had time to look surprised as the blood began to pour from her throat, and an instant later she crumpled to the floor, dead.

"Why did you kill her?" Dumar demanded. "Gul Bitak will have your head for killing his daughter!"

"Not if he thinks she was killed by the Starfleet officers," Goren countered. "We'll tell him that they killed her during our escape."

"An escape that we have yet to accomplish," Dumar pointed out.

"I don't hear you offering anything useful," Goren snapped.

"I suggest we regroup with Dorek and the others, then make our way to the Bridge and attempt to gain control of the entire ship," Dumar stated. "With what's left of their crew searching the ship for us, the Bridge is most likely unattended."

Goren chuckled. "Even if their Bridge is unmanned, it is certainly not unprotected," he replied. "I guarantee you there is a forcefield securing it against us."

"Then why don't we spare ourselves the effort of attempting to avoid our inevitable capture and just surrender?" Dumar prompted sarcastically.

"Not until I've taken out a few of the Starfleet scum," Goren declared. "We may have failed in our mission, but we can at least obtain the personal satisfaction of knowing we took some of them with us."

"You are obsessive, aren't you, Goren?"

"I would rather die fighting than live as a Federation prisoner," Goren retorted. "Now do you want to waste more time arguing, or do you want to help me find our targets?"

Goren shot him an angry glare, then the two men started back down the corridor.

Standing in the corridor outside of Engineering, Brooks and Chakotay had just finished searching the room for the intruders when Janeway materialized a few feet away.

"Gentlemen," she greeted, then glanced at Chakotay. "What's our status, Commander?"

"Tuvok is tracking our 'guests' using the internal sensors," Chakotay told her, and handed her the extra phase rifle he was brandishing. "It seems they left Engineering through the Jeffries Tubes and made their way to deck four. The other three are on Deck Five."

"Whoever we're dealing with, they obviously know their way around this ship," Janeway replied.

"We've got forcefields in place around the Transporter Room and the shuttlebay, so they won't get very far," Chakotay assured her, just as his combadge beeped.

"Tuvok to Chakotay."

"Go ahead."

"Commander, I have lost the signal for one of the intruders," Tuvok informed him, "and the other five are on the move again. They have regrouped and appear to be headed for the Transporter Room."

"Can you tell if they're armed?" Janeway interjected.

"If they are, their weapons do not register on our sensors," came Tuvok's reply.

Chakotay tapped his combadge. "Chakotay to McDonald."

"McDonald here, sir."

"The intruders are on Deck Four and headed for the Transporter Room. I want you and Gray to meet us there."

"Aye, Commander."

"Tuvok, what's the quickest intercept route to their location?" Chakotay queried.

Tuvok checked his panel. "I can unlock the aft turbolift, which will deliver you to within 100 feet of their current location," he said. "I will instruct Lieutenant Commander McDonald and Ensign Gray to take the port turbolift and intercept them from behind."

"Do it, Commander," Janeway instructed.

"Aye, Commodore."

Nodding to her officers, Janeway started down the corridor toward the turbolift.

On the Bridge, Tuvok was tracking the intruders when he heard the unmistakable sound of the turbolift approaching. Quickly leveling his phaser at the doors, he tensed expectantly as they opened, and Tom strode onto the Bridge. Spotting Tuvok with the phaser aimed at him, Tom threw up his hands in mock surrender. "I give up, Tuvok!" he declared.

Affording the lieutenant an annoyed glance, Tuvok replaced his phaser in its holster as he asked, "What are you doing here, Mister Paris?"

"Harry told us what's going on. How can I help?"

"I have lost the sensor lock on one of the intruders in the corridor outside the Transporter Room," Tuvok told him. "Take a phaser and proceed to that location to determine the intruder's status, then contact me."

"You got it," Tom declared, and retreated back into the turbolift.

The turbolift deposited Janeway, et al, a hallway's length away from the intruders. The officers could hear them arguing as they headed in their direction.

"You realize, of course, that we're never getting off this ship," Dorek said.

"Allow me to remind you that this was your idea," Kolav retorted. "You're the one who decided to borrow a page out of your dead wife's book and undergo genetic alteration to change our appearance, then proceed to infiltrate as many Starfleet ships as possible to steal their technology."

"Up until the day she disappeared Seska was one of the best agents the Obsidian Order ever had," Dorek countered

"Arguing amongst ourselves is not helping," Dumar interjected. "We have to get off this ship before the Starfleet people find us."

At the other end of the hallway, Chakotay's eyes widened in surprise at the mention of his long dead ex-lover/adversary. "Seska..." he muttered to himself. "That's an old ghost."

Janeway afforded him a brief glance. "You knew this Seska?" she prompted.

"Long story," was Chakotay's only response.

As the intruders drew closer, Janeway silently motioned for her officers to flank her from behind, then all three of them leveled their phase rifles expectantly as they came into view.

"Freeze, Gentlemen!" Janeway shouted. "Stay where you are and keep your hands where we can see them."

The bloody dagger still in his hand, Goren reacted instinctively, and flung it directly at Janeway.

"Kathryn, duck!" Chakotay shouted, and fired his rifle at Goren, ignoring Janeway's surprised look at his use of her given name.

The shot struck Goren directly in the chest, and he crumpled to the floor as his dagger came to rest in Chakotay's shoulder. The XO's involuntary gasp of pain earned him a concerned glance from Janeway as the other intruders immediately bolted in the direction they had come from. Brooks leveled the closest one with a rifle blast and Janeway gestured for him to follow the other two as she tended to Chakotay. Although obviously painful, Chakotay's injury was not life threatening, and Janeway shot him an exasperated glance.

"Did you ever consider heeding your own advice, Commander?" she asked dryly.

"I've been meaning to talk to myself about that," Chakotay responded lightly.

Janeway allowed herself a small smile. "You're awfully jovial for a man with a six-inch knife sticking out of his shoulder," she remarked.

"It only hurts when I laugh," Chakotay countered.

Janeway's smile widened, then faded a moment later as the familiarity of her banter with Chakotay, as well as an odd sensation of something bordering on attraction suddenly struck her.

_My little accident must have scrambled more of my brain than I thought_, she mused silently.

Tom arrived at the Transporter Room, and found Belen's bloody body lying on the floor. After verifying she was dead, he tapped his combadge. "Paris to Tuvok."

"Yes, Lieutenant?"

"I'm in the corridor just outside the Transporter Room, and I found the body of one of the intruders. It looks like one of her 'friends' decided to practice his carving skills on her throat."

"Is there any sign of the others?" Tuvok asked.

Before he could answer, Tom heard the sound of approaching footsteps, and glanced up just as Dumar rounded the bend. The two exchanged a surprised glance, then Dumar launched himself at Tom, but Tom's phaser blast sent him crumpling to the floor.

Overhearing the shot via his link to Tom, Tuvok demanded, "Mister Paris, are you all right?"

"I'm fine, Tuvok. "

No sooner had Tom said the words then Kolav and Dorek came into view, and Tom leveled Kolav with a quick phaser blast. From the other direction, Gray and McDonald came around the corner, and the latter took out Dorek with a direct hit to his chest.

"Nice shot, Shawna," Tom remarked.

"Thanks, Tom," McDonald responded.

Brooks arrived then, followed a moment later by Janeway and Chakotay, and the commodore addressed her officers. "Is everyone all right?"

"We're fine, Commodore," Tom assured her.

Janeway nodded. "Commander McDonald, why don't you, Mister Brooks and Ensign Gray take our friends and put them in the brig. Tom, you can escort Commander Chakotay to Sickbay and have the Doctor transport the body to the morgue from there."

"Aye, Commodore."

Janeway tapped her combadge. "Janeway to Tuvok. The ship is secure, Commander. Stand down from Red Alert and contact Commander Barrett to make arrangements for station security to collect the prisoners."

"Acknowledged," Tuvok responded.

Some time later, Belen's body had been disposed of, and her comrades had been delivered to Starfleet authorities. The Doctor's scans had concluded that they were in actuality Cardassians, who had been genetically altered to appear Human. Chakotay's shoulder injury had thankfully been minor, and the after a brief lecture from the Doctor about the wisdom of avoiding flying daggers, he had been released from Sickbay. Leaving the Bridge to Tuvok, Janeway had retreated into her Ready Room for a chance to think, the day's events having left her more than a little confused.

_Why do I get the feeling that everyone around me knows something I don't?_ she wondered. _The amnesia has either made me paranoid, or there's more going on around here than I'm being told. I've got a First Officer who addresses me by name, and whom I feel an attraction to that I can't explain. Yet I'm married to Mark, and judging from the ring on his finger, Chakotay is married_ _as well. _

Releasing a sigh, Janeway wandered over to her desk, and settled herself into her chair, then noticed the picture situated adjacent to her computer. It was a photograph of three striking young children with a large golden retriever, all seated on the front porch of Gretchen's house.

_Are these my children?_ she wondered to herself.

Picking up the picture for a closer inspection, it took less than thirty seconds for the elder girl's resemblance to her to register, and her daughter's name popped into her head.

"Kaya..."

It was obvious from the other girl's appearance that she was also Janeway's daughter, but although she did not recognize the little boy, there was something vaguely familiar about his features. "He's not Mark's son, but I know that face..." she mused aloud.

The door chime interrupted Janeway's recollections, and she bade her visitor enter without taking her eyes off the picture. The door opened to admit Chakotay, and he strolled into the room, his casual greeting aborted when he noticed her scrutinizing the picture. "They're beautiful children, aren't they?" he prompted lightly.

Still concentrating on the picture, Janeway didn't hear the question, but glanced up expectantly at the sound of his voice.

"I'm sorry, Commander; did you say... something..."

Janeway's voice trailed off as it suddenly dawned on her why the little boy seemed familiar: With the exception of the commander's tattoo, he was an exact miniature of Chakotay. Glancing at the picture again, Janeway at last noticed the resemblance between all three children, and their full names flickered through her mind.

_Kaya Grace, Matthew Edward and Danelle Amelia..._ she remembered at last. _My babies..._

Chakotay's deception beginning to register, Janeway felt her temper rise as she replaced the picture on her desk before getting to her feet to address him. "Just out of curiosity, Commander, how long did you plan on keeping our children a secret from me?" she asked tightly.

"I can explain..."

"Explain what?" Janeway demanded. "Why you've been lying to me for the past twenty-four hours? Why you let me believe I was another man's wife and neglected to tell me about my children?"

"Kathryn..."

"Save it!" Janeway snapped. "Since you're obviously incapable of being honest with me, I'm going back down to Earth to find someone who can."

Without waiting for Chakotay's response, Janeway stormed out of her Ready Room.

**STARFLEET ACADEMY  
**

In his office, Mark was finishing the last of his paperwork for the day when the door swung open, and a visibly irate Janeway strode into the room, bringing Mark to his feet.

"Kath...

"We need to talk," Janeway declared without preamble. "Explain to me what happened to us and why the hell I'm married to my First Officer instead of you."

"I take it he finally told you?" Mark prompted.

"No, I figured it out when I discovered my children's picture on my desk and noticed my son is the exact miniature of Chakotay," Janeway revealed. "Needless to say I was a little perturbed to realize everyone's been keeping the truth from me all day."

"Not by choice," Mark replied.

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions," Janeway retorted.

Mark sighed. "Kath, please try to cool down."

"Cool down?" Janeway echoed incredulously. "I've just found out that the man I love and assumed was my husband is in reality barely more than an old friend, and the man I am married to is practically a stranger to me. Excuse me if I'm a little upset by that."

"If you want to lash out at someone, Kathryn, lash out at me," Chakotay instructed quietly from behind her. "This situation was my doing, not Mark's."

Janeway spun around to face him, and he ignored her glare as he walked over to stand in between her and Mark.

"Are you following me now?" Janeway asked angrily.

"I was concerned after you left _Voyager_," came Chakotay's reply.

"I don't need a baby sitter."

"I won't have a three way conversation between the two of us and your temper, Kathryn," Chakotay retorted.

The argument with Chakotay suddenly triggered the recollection of another argument they had had just before her accident.

"You still haven't given me one good reason why you need to take the shuttle out," Chakotay said.

"It's just a routine engine check, Chakotay," Janeway replied. "I'm just as capable of piloting the shuttle as anyone else."

"Even in winds of 300 kph during a high-intensity electromagnetic storm?" Chakotay prompted.

"I won't be in the storm for more than a minute or two," Janeway said. "And in any event, Commander, last time I checked I was still this ship's CO, and yours."

Chakotay ignored her use of his rank. "You're also my wife and the mother of my children," he countered. "I'm well within my rights personally and professionally to request that you let someone else fly the shuttle."

"My decision stands, Commander, and I suggest you use my absence to review the proper protocol for addressing a senior officer," Janeway responded icily. "I would be well within my rights to put you in the brig for insubordination."

"Kathryn?" Chakotay prompted.

The sound of her name brought Janeway back to the present, and she shot Chakotay a knowing look. "Well, it seems you were honest about one thing, at least," she remarked. "We certainly do argue well."

"You remembered something," Chakotay deduced.

"I remember arguing with you about flying the shuttlecraft. Obviously I didn't listen."

"You rarely do."

Janeway ignored the jibe. "As long as you're here, Commander, why don't you and the good professor flip a coin to determine which one of you gets to explain what exactly is going on?"

Mark glanced at Chakotay. "I believe that's your cue," he said dryly.

"No, that would be me," a familiar voice declared, and with his signature flash of light, Q materialized in Mark's office.

"Don't you ever knock?" Chakotay asked irritably.

"Sorry," Q responded, and lifting his hand, made a knocking motion in mid-air, accompanied by the sound. "So, is this a private party, or can I join the fun?"

"Don't you have your own family to bother?" Chakotay prompted.

"My aren't we testy?" Q observed, and shot him a look of feigned sympathy. "You and Kathy having a little spat?"

Chakotay rolled his eyes in disgust as Janeway directed her attention to Q. "You must be Q," she surmised.

"I am indeed, Kathy, though I am deeply wounded that you don't remember me and all that we meant to each other," Q confirmed, then glanced at Mark. "So this is the chap you were pining for while you were stranded in the Delta Quadrant. Quite frankly, Kathy, I don't see the appeal."

"Delta Quadrant?" Janeway echoed. "I was stranded in the Delta Quadrant?"

Q shot Chakotay an admonishing glance. "Keeping secrets from her, Chuckles? That explains your spat."

His temper already on edge due to his fight with Janeway, Chakotay snapped at Q's continued taunts. He closed the distance between them in a few steps, then planted his fist in Q's face, knocking him to the floor but not inflicting any injury.

"Nice shot," Mark complimented.

"I never knew you had it in you, Chuckles," Q remarked, and got to his feet while rubbing his jaw. "Pretty good right hook you've got, too."

"Why are you here, Q?" Janeway inquired.

"Would you believe me if I said I was simply in the neighborhood and wanted to say hello?" Q queried. Janeway merely sent him an expectant glance, and Q continued. "I'll take that as a no. Well, Kathy, the truth is I'm here to help recover some of those marbles you're missing."

Janeway frowned. "You're going to give me my memory back?"

Q shook his head. "No, that's against the rules," he replied, not bothering to elaborate whose rules he referred to. "What I can do, however, is take you on a little jaunt down memory lane, sort of a visual tour of the last ten years of your life. I guarantee it will be a better memory stimulant than whatever feeble explanations Tweedledee and Tweedledum here can give you."

Shooting a pointed glance at Mark and Chakotay, Janeway said, "That's the best offer I've had all day."

Chakotay took a step closer to Q, his tone ice cold as he addressed him. "I don't know what you have in mind, Q, but Kathryn has three children who need their mother," he reminded him. "There's no way in hell I'm going to let you take her away from them."

Q sighed, and glanced at Janeway. "Really, Kathy, I just don't understand what you see in this one, either," he said, then returned his attention to Chakotay. "Relax, Chuckles; Kathy's little trip won't take long at all; I'll have her home in time to tuck her children into bed."

Chakotay glanced at his wife. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Her ire cooled by Chakotay's obvious concern and anxiety, Janeway graced him with a faint smile. "If it will help me get my memory back, yes."

Chakotay nodded once in silent acquiescence then gave Q a final warning. "Take care of her, Q, or omnipotent or not, you'll answer to me."

"I'm quaking in my boots," Q retorted. "Kathy, shall we go?"

"Ready when you are."

"Excellent. Gentlemen, until next time."

Q snapped his fingers, and he and Janeway disappeared in a flash of light.

**STARFLEET ACADEMY  
**

That evening, Q and Janeway had returned to Earth, their trip through time having served its purpose, and jogged some of her memories. Some of the pieces were still missing, but the commodore had remembered enough to understand why she was now married to Chakotay instead of Mark. Not quite ready to face her husband, Janeway had asked Q to return her to the Academy, so she could have a final conversation with Mark.

"If you really want me to, Kathy, I could bend the rules just this once and restore your memory," Q offered.

"No thanks. I'd rather remember the rest of it on my own. Thank you for the visual trip down memory lane, however. It helped."

"Glad to be of service. And just between you and me, I think you married the right man."

Janeway shot Q an astonished glance. "Oh really... and you base that on what?"

Q shrugged. "I like him."

Janeway smiled. "I'll be certain to tell Chakotay how highly he rates with you, " she said dryly.

"Oh, don't bother," Q returned loftily. "I'll just deny it."

On that note, Q disappeared in a flash of light, and Janeway made her way to Mark's office. To her relief, he was still there, and she knocked lightly on the doorframe to announce her presence.

"May I come in?"

Mark glanced up, and flashed her a small smile. "Well, look what the wind blew in," he said, then cast her a cautious look. "Are you alone?"

"Yes. Q's gone."

"Thank goodness. So how did you do?"

"It was a very... enlightening...experience. It was like watching a movie of my own life, and trying to remember the scenes as it went along."

"Did you remember?" Mark prompted.

"Bits and pieces," Janeway allowed, and flashed him a sad smile. "I saw myself reading your letter... not exactly how I thought our relationship would turn out."

"I won't apologize for moving on, Kath," Mark stated quietly. "I loved you, very much, but it got to the point where I had to let you go. Even if your holographic Doctor had gotten your message to Starfleet before I married Molly, I don't think it would have made a difference. Your relocation to the Delta Quadrant notwithstanding, our relationship had simply run its course. We had plenty of opportunities to get married before you were given command of _Voyager_, yet somehow you always had an excuse not to formalize our relationship."

"That's hardly a fair assessment, Mark," Janeway responded. "You knew how important my career was to me even before we became romantically involved."

"It wasn't an accusation, Kath. I went into the relationship with my eyes wide open, and I have no regrets. But if you honestly look at the way we handled things, if we were truly 100 committed to getting married we would have found a way to make it happen."

Knowing he was right, Janeway allowed herself a resigned sigh. "Even knowing that, it doesn't change how I feel," she said. "I still love you."

"You love the memory of what we had," Mark amended. "What's that old saying, 'Better the devil you know than the devil you don't'?"

"Comparing Chakotay to the devil isn't exactly going to raise my opinion of him, Mark," Janeway pointed out wryly.

Mark chuckled. "I didn't mean it quite that way," he allowed, then grew serious. "Kath, you and I have been friends for most of our lives, and I will always cherish our time together. But the love you spoke of doesn't belong to me anymore; it belongs to Chakotay. He loves you as much as I've ever seen one person love another, and I know you love him just as deeply. Not to mention you have three of the best looking kids in the quadrant."

"The Three Musketeers," Janeway replied, then suddenly realized what she had said. "Well, my memory must be coming back. I remembered their collective nickname."

"Go to Chakotay, Kath. Let him put the rest of the pieces into place for you."

"Are you happy with the way things turned out?" Janeway asked.

"I'm happy that we both found the person we were meant to be with," Mark answered.

Mark's reply seemed to satisfy Janeway and she flashed him a warm smile. "Thank you for your honesty, and for being a friend."

"I'll always be your friend."

The two exchanged a hug, then Janeway exited Mark's office just as an attractive blonde woman entered, and Janeway afforded her a brief smile before continuing on her way. Molly Johnson watched her go, then shot her husband a curious glance. "Was that Kathryn Janeway?"

"Yes. We were just resolving some unfinished business."

"Really. Should I be worried?"

Mark smiled, and pulled her into his arms. "Sheridan, my love, you haven't had anything to worry about since the moment I laid eyes on you," he declared, and gave her a passionate kiss to prove his point.

**BLOOMINGTON, INDIANA   
**

Standing on the front porch of Gretchen's house, Chakotay was awaiting Kathryn's return while watching their children play with Nugget, the golden retriever that had been Chakotay's gift to Kathryn the previous Christmas following the death of her beloved Irish setter, Molly. The trio was becoming increasingly anxious to see her, and Chakotay was hard-pressed to come up with a reasonable explanation for her continued absence.

_The longer she's gone the more upset they get,_ he fretted silently. _They're simply too young to understand what's going on. _

Chakotay's musings were interrupted by Gretchen, who came outside to stand beside him.

"Any sign of Katie?" she asked.

"Not yet. I'm beginning to worry."

""I don't think there's any cause for that," Gretchen said. "This Q character may be a pest, but from what you've told me, he seems genuinely fond of Katie. I don't think he'd hurt her."

Chakotay gave his mother-in-law a small smile. "I'm not worried about Kathryn's safety, Gretchen," he clarified. "I'm worried about our marriage."

"Chakotay... Katie adores you, and the children."

"Forty-eight hours ago I would have agreed with you," Chakotay allowed, "but between her amnesia and discovering the secrets I've kept from her, I have no idea where we stand. As far as Kathryn's concerned, she loves Mark. When all is said and done, she may decide that being married to me is no longer what she wants."

"Give yourself—and Katie—a little more credit, Chakotay," Gretchen chided. "Granted the two of you fight with as much passion as you do everything else, but it always works itself out; Danelle is living proof of that. Two days of lost memories and silly arguments won't erase what you and Katie have."

"You're forgetting that the lost memories in question include our entire relationship."

The conversation was aborted when the children abandoned their game with Nugget to join their father on the porch. Bidding her family good night, Gretchen disappeared inside the house.

"Daddy, when's Mommy coming home?" Kaya asked.

"She'll be home very soon, Sunshine. I promise."

"I miss her," Kaya said ruefully.

"So do I," Chakotay confessed, then changed the subject. "I think it's time for you and your brother and sister to go to bed. Why don't you go brush your teeth and put on your pajamas, then I'll come upstairs to tuck you in."

"Need some help?"

Kaya and Chakotay immediately glanced toward the voice to see Kathryn standing a few feet away, and the commodore felt her heart twinge at the look of pure relief that flashed across Chakotay's features. _He didn't think I was coming back_, she surmised. _I should have realized how hard this has been for him. _

"Mommy!" Kaya squealed in delight, and promptly launched herself at Kathryn, who knelt down to enfold her daughter in a fierce hug. Matthew and Danelle quickly mirrored their sister's actions, and dashed over to embrace their mother. Her eyes welling over with tears, Kathryn simply held onto them for several moments, then reluctantly released them to stand up. As she waked over to the porch steps, Chakotay flashed her a cautious smile. "Hi," he greeted simply.

"Hi, yourself."

"Are you all right?"

"I'm getting there. I take it from the expression on your face just now that you weren't entirely sure I was coming back."

"I knew you would come back to the children," Chakotay demurred.

Realizing Chakotay's exclusion of himself in his response was deliberate, Kathryn flashed him a reassuring smile. "I came back to my children and my husband," she countered pointedly.

"Where's your tour guide?"

"Hopefully making a nuisance of himself with someone else," Kathryn replied. "He did, however, help fill in a few of the blanks of my memory."

Chakotay nodded. "Let's get these guys to bed, then we'll talk."

It took almost half an hour to get all three children tucked in, as their excitement over their reunion with Kathryn had erased all traces of sleepiness, and they literally would not let her go until she promised that she would see them in the morning.

"I promise to be here when you wake up, but right now you need to go to sleep," Kathryn instructed.

Dutifully pacified, the trio drifted off to sleep, and Kathryn and Chakotay made their way back outside. On the porch, a sleeping Nugget did not so much as twitch at their return, and Kathryn glanced down at the slumbering canine. "Who are you and what have you done with Molly?" she inquired lightly.

"That's Nugget," Chakotay said. "I got her for you last Christmas after you lost Molly."

Nodding in acknowledgement, Kathryn wandered out into the yard, a silent Chakotay at her side. Once they were a safe distance from the house to ensure they wouldn't wake the children, Kathryn addressed Chakotay. "I owe you an apology," she began. "My behavior this afternoon was..."

"Completely understandable under the circumstances," Chakotay finished for her. "I never should have agreed to keep the truth from you."

"Why did you?" Kathryn asked.

"The Doctor thought it would be better for your recovery if you were allowed to regain your memory on your own," Chakotay explained. "He felt it might cause problems if you were pressured into remembering things too soon."

"He had a point, I suppose," Kathryn allowed. "But I would have preferred to have heard the truth from you."

"What was I supposed to do?" Chakotay countered. "Condense a ten-year relationship into thirty seconds?"

"Telling me the truth in any capacity would have been better than hiding our personal relationship and our children, Chakotay. Look at it from my perspective: What did it say about the state of our marriage that you would lie to me?"

"I've never lied to you, Kathryn. I admit hiding the truth about us wasn't the epitome of honesty, but it wasn't done to hurt you. We've had our differences over the years, but we've always discussed or debated them openly and honestly. And I repeat, I have never lied to you."

"No, you haven't," Kathryn conceded.

"What happened with Q?" Chakotay asked.

"Well, he did exactly what he said he would, and took me on a visual trip down memory lane," Kathryn replied. "It was quite an experience."

"So he took you back through time."

"Yes. He asked me what the last thing I remembered was, and when I told him it was _Voyager_'s relocation to the Delta Quadrant, that's where we started. He then proceeded to take me through the major events of the last eleven years of my life: our encounters with the aliens in the Delta Quadrant, Kes' departure and Seven's induction into our crew, our trip home and the births of the children. I saw myself missing Mark, then missing you; I saw our first fight and our first kiss. I even have a vague recollection of my accident."

"How did this 'trip' make you feel?"

"It was almost like watching someone else living my life. I saw the events, and I recognized my part in them, but I couldn't remember the emotions they produced. At first it was very unsettling, but once I got used to it, it gave me a chance to look at my life from a new perspective, and re-evaluate the choices I've made."

"Any regrets?"

"Yes," Kathryn answered honestly, "but not about us. I had a talk with Mark this afternoon, and he helped me realize that if we had really wanted to get married, we would have found a way to make it happen long before I got _Voyager_. In an odd way, this little brush with the past has given us the closure we were cheated of by having to end our relationship across sixty thousand light years."

"So where does that leave us?" Chakotay pressed. "How much of what we have do you remember?"

"I still have a few blanks to fill in," Kathryn answered. "I accept that we're married, and have a family, but I don't remember how we got here."

"In other words, you know that you love me but you don't remember why," Chakotay paraphrased dryly.

Kathryn smiled. "That's one way to put it," she allowed. "I wish I could explain how frustrating this is for me. I walk onto the Bridge, or through the ship's corridors, and I see so many strangers looking back at me. I have an XO who's also my husband, and the father of my children, yet in so many ways you're a stranger to me."

"Maybe we should do something to rectify that," Chakotay suggested.

"Such as?"

"Starting over again, so to speak."

"I'm not following you."

"Kathryn, you and I never had a chance to have a 'normal' relationship," Chakotay replied. "We started as enemies, then formed a friendship out of our enforced professional alliance, and eventually we fell in love. Yet with everything we've been through together, we've never even done something as routine as go on a first date."

Janeway quirked one delicate eyebrow as she shot him an amused glance. "Was that an invitation?" she prompted.

"I suppose it was," Chakotay allowed. "If we're going to start over again, we may as well do it right."

Janeway considered the idea for a moment before responding. "A first date," she mused. "After eleven years and three children it's rather unorthodox, but under the circumstances it makes sense in an odd way."

"May I take that as a yes?"

"Yes, you may take that as a yes."

**SIX WEEKS LATER  
**

Having finished the last of her paperwork for the day, Janeway exited her Ready Room and strode onto the Bridge. A quick exchange with Tuvok confirmed that everything was status quo, so she relinquished the Bridge to his care and headed for her quarters. The commodore had spent much of the past month and a half reviewing her logs and engaging in casual conversation with her family and friends in order to fill in the remaining blanks of her memory, and was at last beginning to recall the extent of her feelings for Chakotay. Following their "first date", the couple had settled into the openly affectionate relationship which had characterized their marriage. Yet despite their reconciliation, the two were still at odds over their clash prior to Janeway's accident, an issue that she was debating with herself en route to her quarters.

_Get over it, Kathryn. It wasn't the first time you two have argued, and it won't be the last. The man is your husband and your First Officer; he's supposed to be overprotective. _

The commodore's mental debate was interrupted when the turbolift stopped to admit another passenger, and Janeway glanced up as Seven of Nine, now known as Seven Hansen, stepped into the lift. The beautiful former Borg had been on _Voyager_ for a week-long visit with her former crewmates, after attending the surprise birthday party Chakotay had given Janeway. Although her physical appearance was still marked by the Borg implants, Seven's time in the Alpha Quadrant had enabled her to alter her speech patterns to eliminate the cold formality from her tone she had adopted during her time with the Collective.

"Commodore," Seven greeted formally.

"Hello, Seven," Janeway returned. "Looking forward to getting home tomorrow?"

"It will be good to see my grandparents again," Seven allowed, "but I must admit it's been good being back on _Voyager_."

"It's been good having you here."

"Aren't you missing someone?" Seven prompted. "Or four someones to be specific."

Janeway smiled. "Chakotay and the children had a holodeck date with B'Elanna and Cassie Paris," she revealed. "They're making additions to the children's Magic Land program."

Seven returned the smile. "Hardly the kind of entertainment one would expect from a former Maquis terrorist," she remarked.

"I gave up trying to figure Chakotay out a long time ago," Janeway replied. "Every time I tried, he'd do something so completely out of character I wanted to toss him out an airlock to spare myself further aggravation."

"If memory serves me correctly, he tried to do just that to me shortly after we first met," Seven recalled.

"He did, didn't he?"

The two women exchanged a laugh at the shared memory, then Janeway bid Seven goodnight and exited the lift. Reaching her quarters, Janeway walked inside, and heard conversation coming from the children's room. Curious as to its source, she wandered over to their bedroom, and discovered Chakotay seated on the edge of Kaya's bed.

"Please, Daddy, just one more story," Kaya pleaded.

"Please, Daddy," Matthew echoed.

"Please, Daddy," added Danelle, her limited vocabulary causing her plea to come out as "Pees Dayee."

_He's doomed_, Janeway thought affectionately.

"Okay," Chakotay relented. "One more story. Any requests?"

"We want to hear Mommy's story," Kaya requested, referring to the 'ancient legend' Chakotay had created for Kathryn on New Earth so many years ago.

"Want Mommy's story," Matthew echoed.

"Then Mommy's story it is," Chakotay declared, and lowering his tone to what Kathryn called his 'story-time voice', he began to retell the legend. Focused on the children, he was unaware of Janeway's presence as she propped herself against the doorframe to listen in.

"Once upon a time," Chakotay began softly. "There was an angry warrior who lived in conflict with the rest of his tribe..."

As Janeway listened to Chakotay tell her story, the memory of their tenure on New Earth came back to her, and then as now, her dark blue eyes welled with tears at the depth of emotion reflected in his words and tone. The full recollection of her love for him came back in a sudden rush, and she felt as though her heart would burst from the emotion.

_Oh, Chakotay...how could I ever have forgotten loving you? _

"...And in that way the warrior came to know the true meaning of peace," Chakotay finished.

Although the younger two children were now half-asleep, Kaya was still awake, obviously in thrall of her father's tale. "I like that story, Daddy," she declared. "Tell it again."

"Not tonight, Sunshine," Chakotay said. "It's time to go to sleep. Sweet dreams."

Chakotay got to his feet, then leaned over to press a gentle kiss on Kaya's forehead. Turning to go, he discovered Janeway standing in the doorway, and walked over to join her.

Before he could offer a greeting, Janeway wordlessly slid her arms around his neck and pulled him down to give him a passionate kiss. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, Chakotay responded fully to the unexpected embrace, and a few minutes later Janeway pulled back to flash him a loving smile. "Hi," she said simply.

"Hi yourself," Chakotay returned. "What was that for?"

"Just because I love you."

"For a while I was afraid I would never hear you say those words to me again," Chakotay responded softly. "I love you, too."

The two exchanged another kiss, then Chakotay posed a question to his wife. "Have you been here long?"

"Long enough to hear your story," Janeway responded. "I remember the first time I heard it, on New Earth. It was overwhelming to say the least."

"It was the closest I could come to telling you that I loved you without actually saying the words."

"I think I knew then that I was in deep trouble, and it scared me to death. There was still so much I didn't know about you, and it scared me to feel so strongly for someone who was, in many ways, a stranger."

"I imagine you felt much the same way six weeks ago when you realized I was your husband and not Mark," Chakotay remarked, as they made their way through the living room toward their bedroom.

"Partially," Janeway allowed, her smile fading. "But most of the issues I had regarding my feelings for you while we were in the Delta Quadrant didn't exist anymore, simply because we were already married and had a family. I think my main fear was having to rediscover what could have prompted me toss protocol to the wind by falling in love with my First Officer. I know a large part of it had to do with the bond we forged while stranded in the Delta Quadrant, but as grateful as I am for the people it brought into my life, it was also one of the loneliest and most frightening times of my life. I didn't want to go through that again."

"You were never alone, Kathryn," Chakotay corrected quietly. "I was always with you in spirit if not physically by your side."

Janeway flashed him a loving smile, and slid her arms around his waist. "I remember that," she said. "It still boggles my mind that it took the worst thing that ever happened to me to bring me the best thing that ever happened to me."

Chakotay returned her smile. "You are the light of my soul, Kathryn, and I thank the Spirits every day for sending you to me."

"Just remember that next time we have an argument about whether or not I should be flying shuttlecrafts," Janeway teased.

"I was wondering when you were going to bring that up again," Chakotay said. "I stand by my position, Kathryn. The weather conditions on the moon dictated that you should have let someone with more piloting experience—namely Tom—fly the shuttle."

"Honey, in retrospect I know that," Janeway conceded, "but you should never have thrown our personal relationship into the mix. We talked about how to handle our working relationship when we got married, and we both agreed not to let our marriage intrude on our professional responsibilities, or vice versa."

"Yes we did, but I also cautioned you then that I can't shut off my feelings for you simply because we're on the Bridge instead of our quarters," Chakotay countered. "Kathryn, you're my wife first and my CO second. Wearing this uniform doesn't change that, not for me."

"Contrary to appearances, Chakotay, having to separate my feelings for you as my husband and my XO isn't easy for me, either. But there will be times when our professional relationship has to take precedence over our personal one, and it would make it easier for both of us if we could agree not to let it escalate into an argument every time."

"Obviously you have yet to recall why we fight as much as we do."

"Really... and what might that be?"

Chakotay's smile widened as he pulled her closer to him. "Sometimes we fight just so we can make up," he revealed.

Janeway chuckled. "You are incorrigible," she declared affectionately.

"I try," Chakotay confessed, and lowered his head to kiss her.

To Be Concluded in "Freedom"…


End file.
